JAMES CALL!!!
James Call! an exilirating far-out experience! technology you can dance to! drum machines, etc!C’mon, shh, baby, be quiet, everything’s gonna be alright... yeah, it’ll hurt a little at first, but you need to not be scared... remember, I love you baby... Everyone hurts a little the first time they hear JAMES CALL. I know, shh honey, just concentrate on my hands feeling that warm skin of yours, look in my eyes... JAMES CALL makes all his music on sequencers with some live instruments added, so it’s gonna feel real good, ok baby? Mmm hmm. And he’s part of GERMAN CARS vs. AMERICAN HOMES, too. He’s been doing this since he was a sophomore in High School. Sugar, he’s already produced one full length CD, Power, and one mini-CD, Hubris to Go,and he’s working on more real soon... so it’s gonna be alright... mmm, there you go baby, that’s it... oh, that feels good... man, girl, you have got the flavor, just like JAMES CALL brings it to ya’ on “Vacuum,” “Serve Cold,” and all those other golden classics... oh yeah... oh shit, I’m going to... oh, I can’t stop it... oh, I’m sorry baby. Normally I don’t have to go listen to James’ funky beats so quick. ’Night. [snore]

Lemme tell ya - this kid’s got talent... We thought the Real James was going to be Mishap Records big cash cow, what with his catchy tunes about household cleaning products and US presidents - we thought we had the next big thing, the best thing since Bob Segar or John Cougar Mellancamp! I mean, he’s into boring computer strategy games, history, vello-binding, politics and having epileptic siezures... now here’s a guy the kids can relate to and’ll have the teenage girls swooning, right? We were ready to storm the world with James’ far-out brand of synth-clav rock! Sadly, on the eve of his debut on BBC1’s popular “Top of the Pops” programme, James Call suffered a tragic MIDI sequencing accident which left him incapable to do anything except keep his apartment neat and tidy, go to work responsibly and have fulfilling relationships with other human beings.

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I'm telling you, this kid is going places... [James cleaning the remains of incinerated human beings out of computer CPUs.]